T&Cs

Terms & conditions

Here's the boring bit. Any children who've strayed on to this page by accident might want to go and look at one of the other pages; this one's for grown-ups who might want to book me for an event.

Costs are currently as follows:

Standard visit: £450
Poetry visit: £450
Workshop visit: £550-£650 depending on requirements
Bespoke visit: £450-£650 depending on requirements
Virtual visit: charged per session at a basic rate of £100 per hour, with a minimum session charge of £50

Please note that expenses including travel will also be chargeable, and there may be an additional negotiable charge where an extra day, or most of one, is required for travelling.

Additional charges may be applied to virtual visits depending on timetabling requirements.

I’m willing to do all kinds of visits, including but not limited to:

schools
libraries
literature festivals
arts festivals
teacher training colleges
bookshops
summer schemes
writing camps
secret volcano hideaways of evil criminal geniuses bent on world domination

Schools, teacher training colleges, summer schemes, writing camps etc should refer to the Terms & Conditions document in the next column.

Visits to libraries will normally be charged at a rate taking into account the length of the visit.

Bookshop events will usually be free of charge. This assumes that the visit will include no more than a reading or two and a signing session, and that there’ll be tea and biscuits. Chocolate ones.

It’s been my experience so far that festivals generally offer a reasonable fee as standard. If you’re a festival and you’d like to book me, then please let me know how much you pay contributors - I’d expect you to pay me the same as any other contributor.

Evil criminal geniuses bent on world domination should expect to pay upfront, in full.